Australian readers may be pleased at the news that Simon and Garfunkel may tour the country next year. It all depends on the successful negotiating of a contract, the hardest part of which may be to get the two artists to agree their fees between themselves. Their infighting over money is legendary. They acrimoniously split in 1970, shortly after achieving transatlantic success and there seems to be argument every time they reform for a tour.
For years it was assumed Garfunkel resented Simon's song-writing dominance, while Simon grumbled that his photogenic partner landed parts in films. But Garfunkel joked recently that it was the duo’s title that caused all the problems: "I wanted to call us Garfunkel and Simon," he quipped.
Envy and competitiveness are part of every human being’s experience. It can be destructive. For Abel it meant death at the hands of his brother Cain. It can be creative, spurring us on to emulate the skills or qualities of someone close to us we admire. It is often very wearing. Paul Simon commented on his relationship with Garfunkel: “We don't argue any more. We're exhausted."
Perhaps we might reflect on whether any envious feelings we have are creative or draining. It may be that in the end, even if only out of sheer exhaustion, we settle with being happy with who we are without any sense of competitiveness with those around us. Accepting ourselves and others without comparing the differences creates relationships which can offer real support when the chips are down, a true bridge over troubled waters.
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I was coming in from our small, but beautiful, walled garden when a circular dropped through the letter box. Would we like to enter the Brighter Kensington and Chelsea Summer Gardening Competition? My reaction was surprisingly definite. The garden is a place for relaxing. The temptation might be to sit there constantly working out ways of making it better, and wondering if it would win, rather than just enjoying it for its own sake. The competition would not be worth the stress.
Constantly looking over our shoulders, at what and how others are doing, is an approach to life which can create similar pressure. There’s a competitive aspect to much of life. Advertising urges us to keep up with a fashionable lifestyle, promotion is sometimes the main incentive and source of satisfaction in our work, and we can easily feel losers in the competition to make the most of our leisure. Sometimes, if we feel others are “ahead” of us in these areas, the pressure to keep up can undermine the simple enjoyment, for their own sake, of our lives, our work, our leisure.
Of course sometimes, this is under the surface of our awareness, and not everyone feels the need to compare themselves with others. Indeed, most people some of the time, and some people much of the time, find the pressure of competition helpful. It makes them perform more effectively. Perhaps today the important thing is to be aware of any competitive instincts we have and to ensure they are enhancing our enjoyment and sense of fulfilment in life and not undermining them.
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